Dot

what should i do?
what should i do?
everything i do is wrong.
and everythng is like a song.

caring is wrong
cuz i eat people spaces.
but when others did it
it's ok. they are kind people

sharing food is wrong
cuz i put poisons or bewitched the food.
but when others did it
it's ok. they are very generous

reading is wrong.
cuz i am nerd and selfish
but when others did it
it's ok. they are good students

listening to them is wrong
cuz i spilled it to everyone
but when others did it
it's ok. they are a good listener

i don't know what is normal
cuz when i do normal things
i am wrong
i am wrong

so i did the wrong things
become mad
become insane
become bad

they say
bad things are wrong.
that's the only right thing.
bad is wrong.
that's the only right thing

but when i do good
they said it's wrong.'
negative n positive
lead me to astray

so i continue
killing my heart
killing my humanity
killing myself

so here i am
bad mad and insane
as so they called me now
but it's ok, it's definitly wrong

twisted mind
no more kind
heart is bind
eye is blind.

walking without a heart.
walking alone
always lonely
but no more wrong things.

no more wrong things
only right things
which is doing bad
bad is wrong but it's right

New Semester but before that...

Exam's over.
A bad ending for someone who couldn't answer well in the exam.
Reading alone is so lonely, and cold too.
I envy those in the libraries.
Well,nothing can be done much.

Every ending is a new beginning to a new story.
Don't you think so?
It's true I'm no longer feel alive,
nor feel sad anymore.
My heart's empty
holes that dripped out tears and bloods.
My laughs and smile
doesn't reach me anymore.
Almost all are fake.

So new semester mean nothing much to me.
As empty as always.
An guess what, our class is going to have a trip.
To Veterinary Research Institute,
Malacca Zoo, as well as Equine Farm i think.
I'm not sure, I m not part of the class
So I'm not sure.
and they will go too..
and I will have to seat alone this time.
Cuz I know someone already feel annoyed
and tired of me.
It's normal.

I can imagine me there alone.
Hearing laughter and giggles.
Shouting " It's so fun "
while I look at them
with my pathetic looks.

Never mind that.
But for now,
Somthing had happened to all my coursemates lately.
Some of them smiling,chatting normally
but I sense they are hiding somthing.
It... didn't seems to be normal as it used to be.
Are they tired becuz of exam.
or is it related to the things that happened recently.
I don't know.
and I don't care much.
Just like my friend said
" ...can't wait to see the ending. "

By the way,
I walk around days ago.
During exam week.
I saw the seeds that I planted long time ago,
started to grow shoots.
Let's hope it turns out into a fine tree.
Cuz those are rare seeds that I get from someone.
It grows twisted.
and gave out black fruits.

Let's wait till it happens.